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Everlasting Words and Flowers by ~autumn-wind:iconautumn-wind:



The rumbling thunder in distance,
Kept reminding me of forgotten words,
Spoken by your cherry lips, like,
“When are you coming back?”
What if the answer is “Never.”?

Those sounds of door opening and closing,
Resembles us,
Closing in the gap of hopeless future,
Opening the space to emptiness.

The rain pattered on my window,
Pages from history turned mellow,
Flipping endlessly back and front,
Back to days with you,
Front to see more tears of mine.

“Remember that day,”
Mum’s voice broken like a porcelain doll,
“A friend of yours whom made you thousand stars,”
She looked away,
Knowing she lost me when I lost her.

When I realized,
A million words could not bring you back,
I was late to even say goodbye,
You,
Sleeping on a field of eternal flowers.

Memories came flying back,
With wings attached,
Showing me fond moments you gave me,
And that once beautiful life.

“The day you smiled,” you said,
A smile so serene,
“Is the day I gain sunshine,” I said,
Your hands enclosed within your heart,
“But I had to leave you,” you said.
©2006-2010 ~autumn-wind
:iconautumn-wind:

Author's Comments

Did this for the competition in Got a second place for it. Wee~ :glomp: everyone.
Wanted to post it up or a long time but didn't had time.
Here you go~
Thanks for reading and comments please! :)

Comments


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:iconautumn-wind:
Thanks for the comments! :D

--
They say 'look into the future.' But I always realized, the past made me what I am.

Dazzling bursts of rain, I fall and falter, watching the light scatter stunningly around me; I am alive.
:icontainted-lover:
the pages turned mellow. Wow. that sent me on a trip. mellow was how I red it, but in my mind the picture turned hazy and the pages yellowed; i don't know if anyone's said the same but that was crazy
:iconautumn-wind:
i'm so happy that you got that image! that was the exact thing i had in my mind when i wrote that =) yay!

--
They say 'look into the future.' But I always realized, the past made me what I am.

Dazzling bursts of rain, I fall and falter, watching the light scatter stunningly around me; I am alive.
:iconmusical-nymph:
What I think will really take this poem to the next level is a reconsideration of your adjectives. So many of the adjective-noun pairs you use are expected and border on cliche. Examples: rumbling thunder, porcelain doll, forgotten words. In your revision process, you might go through and replace some of these adjectives with less expected words.

Anyways - a nice narrative. Good work!

--
You were right about the stars: each one is a setting sun.
:iconautumn-wind:
Thank you for the comments :)
I'll definitely revise on it even though I haven't been writing for a long time... haha, but if I do again, I'll think on it! :D

--
They say 'look into the future.' But I always realized, the past made me what I am.

Dazzling bursts of rain, I fall and falter, watching the light scatter stunningly around me; I am alive.
:iconwintergal:
OMG T_____T
this reminds me back to... a few years ago.

--
The shadow of your soul...
:iconautumn-wind:
yeah its so long ago o.o'' i still remember helping u delete ur DA stuff last time lolz.

--
They say 'look into the future.' But I always realized, the past made me what I am.

Dazzling bursts of rain, I fall and falter, watching the light scatter stunningly around me; I am alive.
:iconwintergal:
hahaha. OMG. x______x
and until now, i just let it accumulate XD couldnt stand it when it was in 70K XD hahah. now down to 3K XD

--
The shadow of your soul...

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February 18, 2006
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